Where to begin, I’ll start by saying that I’ve been meaning to write this one for a while. So much has happened both bad and good in the last 10 years that I feel the need to condense what I’ve learnt into a letter for good.
You may feel indestructible, almost like a superhero, however you are not, you’ll come to realise this eventually, and that’s okay.
You will learn to feel and understand loss, at the most fundamental level. It will drive you to do things you may be ashamed of, and also things you really should be proud of. Though above all it will teach you to live your life to the fullest.
You will feel pain, lot’s of pain, some of which will be almost unbearable, and you will feel like you need to control and contain your emotions. You’ll do this into your 30’s but you will come out the other side.
You will try to control every aspect of your life in order to reduce the pain and fear of pain. But you’ll learn that this is not the way to live life, it is not the way to feel alive, and that some of the best moments in life come from being out of control.
You will push people away at times, some for the best, some just out of fear, and you will hurt people and be hurt. I promise you, those that matter will not leave you floundering.
You will learn what it is to feel vulnerable, it will be scary at first and it won’t work out the way you want, but do not let that lesson leave you. You will be stronger for it and have much better relationships.
You will discover what it is to be in love, what it feels like to unconditionally love someone no matter the circumstance. You will see past all the silly things that kept you from feeling this up until this point.
You will learn to accept yourself completely, although this will be the biggest struggle of your life up until this point, I can say with conviction that you will gain complete acceptance. You will feel able to conquer the world because of this.
You will travel, though it will take many years for you to pluck up the courage to do so, and this is okay. You will feel trapped and like life is never changing, this will drive you forward to achieve more than you ever thought possible.
You will make friends from every corner of the planet, friends which will feel like family whenever you reunite. This process will teach you to see your own internal beauty as these people see you for who you truly are (and you’ll let them).
You will be harder on yourself than any critic ever could be, but one day you’ll learn to give yourself a break and realise that everyone has the same struggles as you.
You’re not alone.
You will put yourself down at every opportunity, but eventually, you will discover your strengths. As difficult as it is for you to see your own positive qualities, you will find what comes naturally to you and embrace them.
I don’t want to be a downer, as you will have the most amazing time up until this point, which will teach you lessons that could not be learned any other way. Lessons that will stick with you and help you become the person you should be while touching so many lives positively in the process.
Above all you will come to accept yourself in every way, you will have the best friends and family you could ever wish for, who will support you no matter what you want from life. That combined with your own determination will make you truly unstoppable.
Love from, your future self.